Why. why. why.

This is supposed to be a post about college. It might have a little bit to do with college. But not much. 

Why. why. why. why. why. 

Why must I care about people? Why. Are we born to care? Is there genetic code inside of me to have a caring instinct? For the longest time I always thought it was because I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be accepted so I had to let people know that I cared about them. I don't think it is the case anymore. I honestly care and I HATE IT. What does it do for me? not much

But I will probably continue doing it. I will continue getting hurt. People say they can't get close to me because I am moving to college?? Bullshit. I am here for a long time and thats a pathetic excuse. And so what if I do move out of state (and hopefully I do)? Its not like you care anyways. 

I don't want you hurt or unsafe or in a bad place or hurt. Any of you. I will always care. I just dont want to. 

Sincerely, 

Spence

I died for a second there.

Where the heck did the time go?? 

Life really has been Su-Spenceful lately. A lot of things have happened since my last post. Obviously. lets just catch you all up (I'm sure you really care.)

-I was Cast in the Drowsy Chaperone at Centerpoint Legacy Theatre (We opened in March 2012.) Remarkable show and ever more remarkable cast. Met some people that literally changed my life :) 

-My sister came home from her mission.. Super weird. She wasn't out for the entire time because of some medical snaf-oos. Having her home was amazing. Literally she came home at the perfect time. I missed her... and now she is getting married. (7 days people). 

-I got the great opportunity to choreograph a show for my high school. An ENTIRE musical. like 20 numbers or something like that... (by the end there were a LOT of kick ball changes...). It was amazing to have a vision and get to see it come to fruition on stage. I can't wait until I get to do it on Broadway (Anything Goes 2023 revival anyone??). 

-This summer was cray-cray. Went to the International Thespian Festival in good ole Lincoln, Nebraska and ooh what a trip. met lots of peeps, got lots of phone numbers. A lot of phone numbers ;). Also won a national marketing award, 1st place in Theatre Marketing. 

After that we went to NYC as a family. Had a great time. Saw six shows (thats acceptable haha) and had some great bonding time. Oh and guess what!!! We sure needed some bonding time I guess because we left the country together for 17 days. In July, we parted for the land of the kangaroo. What a great country and an amazing trip :) 

- When we got home from Aussie, I came up with a BRILLIANT Idea (as usual). I decided I wanted to transfer schools. I decided I wanted to pretty much move out of Erda and move to Salt Lake.... So then SPA happened. Salt Lake School for the Performing Arts. Best. Decision. Ever.. 

-Moving to SPA helped me solidify my after High school plans. Musical Theatre education here I come.. (More to come tomorrow about this one specifically.)

Mixed in there were some tears, many new friends, losing some people, lots of dates and lots of flings. It has been an amazing time... Hold on for the ride!

Sincerely, 

Spence

The life of a busy high schooler :)

So what is up? What's the 411? Give me the hot gossip!

Lets see.....

I am a pescatarian (I don't any meat except Fish). 5 months going strong!!

I was cast in The Drowsy Chaperone at Centerpoint Legacy Theatre. So blessed!! :) Its going to be an AMAZING show!!

I played a dream role of mine in Little Women The Musical, opposite my best friend EVER!!

I learned that I need to stay close to the ones that I love and not risk my relationships with them for anything.

I realized that I need to soon figure out what I want to the future to look for me.

I am obsessed with INSTAGRAM!!! (Follow me @spencerlawson10)

I also love the Twitter and I tweet often! (Become one of my Tweeps @mylifeinlights)

I want to find an agent.

I am starting to have self confidence in myself. The first time in years.

I discovered Downton Abbey. And I want my life to be like that.

I have made so many friends that I know will be there for me no matter what person i become or what choices I make.

I learned that we all must respect others and love them no matter what.

I have felt love.

I now know what it feels like to have someone actually "BE" there for you.

I love the world and all that is in it. Haters gonna hate

Sincerely, Spence

I L~O~V~E You!

Love. What is it? I have to come to realize exactly what it is. It is not the tender touch of a significant other. It is not some emotion that is to be toyed with. It has become something that fills the halls of high schools and is no longer a feeling that is meant with true intent. The word is so commonplace that you can't go five minutes without hearing it somewhere.

I must admit, that I am guilty of the crime of which I am charging others. I LOVE everything (or so it seems). That book on the shelf? Yah I love it. The tv show that's so popular? Love that too. Facebook?? Yep (Okay now I for reals love that stupid site :D). I also l~o~v~e every person I meet. But do I really love them? Some of them yes, most of them no. Love is a safe word for me and I need to work on actually meaning it.....

So where am I going with this? Friends and family are the definition of love. Always has been and always will be. Even someone who you are meant to spend the rest of your life with fits into this category. My friends have gotten me through more than they should have. I will forever be in debt to so many people. Too many to name. Some in particular? MCK, Aust, Tay, Jason, Lauren, Matt, Mary Beth, Abel, and so many others. What a joy they all are. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wouldn't be where I am without you all. :) LOVE you all :)

Sincerely,

Spence

With the New Year comes.... some resolutions I guess..

2011 has come to a close. What a year it has been. A year of thinking, decisions, inspiration, sadness, happiness, joy, and fun. A lot went on and I feel like it would take years to say everything... So I am just going to tell you some things that I know.

I know...... That my heavenly father loves me. What time I have had this year. The gospel has been faltering in my life a little bit. It has taken second chair in the symphony that is life. I have thought a lot about how I need to reevaluate my life and make some changes. Change is good for everyone and I am grateful that we have the atonement to provide us the road towards change. I know I am sounding sappy and spiritual but coming from a person who has had troubles with the church and the gospel, seriously just listen to the Lord. He is there for you. He is there for me. He is there for anyone who is willing to make sacrifices and listen to his words and teachings. I LOVE THE LORD!!!

I know..... that the theatre is my chosen calling. I have realized this year that I am meant to do this. Even if no one else thinks the same, I don't care. I feel the sensation from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. This art form is something that can provide more than just a few months to pass the time away while you are in a show. It is my breath. (Wow, I can't believe how cheesy I am being right now. But its true. everything. So get over it. :D) It is the reason I wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night. Musical Theatre is a way for everyone to become a better version of themselves. It then teaches us that we can be whoever we want to be in real life. We can change the world (one song and dance at a time). Theatre teaches us that people are different yet we can still love every person's flaws and strengths. Believe me, theatre teaches us more than we know. Everyday I discover new things about myself that theatre helps me see. Yes this business is hard and ruthless. I will be hurt (I already have been for Pete's sake) but I know that in the long run I will have all the opportunities that I am meant to have.

I know...... That my friends have made my life bearable. Thank you.... Thank you... You mean the WORLD to me.

I know.... that although the above is true, there is one person that needs a special mention. McKenna Kay Heap. Wow girl, you make me the happiest person ever. If I ever need anything, I know that you are there. Whether is is chemistry parties at midnight after a performance, Schwan's Ice Cream, Scary driving, Mean girls events, our first big "kiss", putting up with my "theatricality" or any other of our memories, you girl are special. I hope you know that.

I know...... that I was sent to my family for a reason. My family is full of goofballs. But I love them. Thanks Mom for putting up with me. Thanks Dad for going along with all of my drama. Thanks Savannah for letting me feel super strong when we wrestle. Thanks Summer for making the ultimate sacrifice and being an example on a mission. You are all the greatest family that a person could ask for. You make me happy and I hope I do the same! (What am I saying, Who wouldn't want ME around the house??) haha

There are so many more things that I know! But don't worry! Stick around and you will find those out!! :)

So is it time for some resolutions??? Well I think the main one is to keep up on the blog. Sure "keep up" may mean once a month, but I am still going to have a kick-A blog. This is going to help me probably more than anyone who reads it but I can't wait! :)

Sincerely,

Spence

CRAZY

Yes my life is crazy.... I will be back soon!! Sorry I haven't posted! Busy, busy!!

Sincerely,

Spence

And She's off!!

She's gone. The dust has finally cleared over on Heidi Way and we are ready to continue on in our lives. My mom has had a really hard time, but I have been trying my best to help her whenever she needs it! I was in Glenn's Ferry, ID this past weekend for a family reunion (not my family reunion, but my Uncle's wife's family. Yah its kinda weird that I go with them, but who cares! Haha it is super fun!) and on Saturday I got a call about my audition! I got the part in Anything Goes!! Anyways I called my mom to tell her about the show and before I could say anything she cut me off to tell me that a letter had come! She was so excited and I was so glad that she could hear some good news from my sister! :) My mom is such an amazing lady and I am grateful that she is always supporting me. She helps me do so much, and move forward in the things that I want to do. I love you so much mom and please know that I am always there for you! So now we wait for the next letter, and the next one, oh and the one after that. :)

Sincerely,

Spence